Know Your Why

New Perspective on Resolutions Series

“People lose their way when they lose their why.”

I am a New Year’s resolutions dropout! I have a long track record of failing to accomplish any ‘resolution I have ever made, so I decided to stop making them. A couple of years ago, I discovered a different perspective to take on New Year goal setting that I look forward to sharing with you. Before we get into the new method for goal setting we need to look at two foundations of goal-setting that are critically important to their success. The first is…know your why.

Why are you setting that goal?

As I reflect on my life and reread all my journal entries I can see clearly that there have always been two driving reasons for my goals—

4 Self-Esteem Killers and How to Overcome Them: Conclusion

Post 7 of 7 in our Self-Esteem Killer series

Two months ago I asked our readers what their biggest struggle with self-esteem was. Over the course of these last six weeks I’ve broken down their responses into four categories of self-esteem killers. As we’ve looked at these I hope you have found ideas, perspectives and strategies for how to fight these assassins off.

Ultimately healthy self-esteem grows in depth as you experience life. The reality is that life is hard, unfair, painful, frustrating, and at times, scary. Accepting that as the reality of life and learning how to face it so you can also find the joy, peace, excitement, and love, helps you become a capable adversary to the self-esteem assassins. The more capable you grow at facing reality the stronger the roots of your self-esteem become.

Self-Esteem Killer #4 : Self-Identifying as a Victim

Post 6 of 7 in our Self-Esteem Killer series

Beautiful flower growing on crack in old asphalt pavement

Before I begin I want to be clear that I am not discounting the pain and psychological cost involved when people are victimized. There are truly horrendous things that have happened to people all around the world and most of us have some experience, wherever it might rank on the horrifying scale, of being a victim to people and events that were beyond our control. It can take a lot time, perseverance, and healing to overcome these experiences. My purpose in this is not to blow off that pain as being insignificant, however you may find I handle this topic with a certain amount of uncomfortable bluntness. You see I believe there is a difference between being victimized and being a victim. The first has to do with a specific experience and the impact it made on you which you need help and healing to overcome. The second has to do with believing that life is against you.

I used to be a ‘woe is me’ person. Feeling the sting of ‘what I wasn’t’ or ‘what I didn’t have,’ I felt like life was hard. I am a very mental person, and I do not mean in the sense of being crazy ;). In the past I failed long before I even started simply because my mind had already beaten me. What I didn’t realize then was that I saw myself as a victim of life. I spent my energy ‘reacting’ to its difficulties and feeling like I had no control.  Then I read this small statement somewhere and it began a change in my perspective,

“Most things we feel as difficult are really just minor inconveniences.”