When I turned 30 I didn’t think much of it. I had a one and a four-year-old, a job I loved…life was busy and full. The biggest hint of sadness I had at becoming 30 was feeling like it was the turning point from being thought of as a ‘young adult’ to being a full-blown adult…with all the rights and responsibilities entailed. Facing 40 has proven to be a much more difficult birthday to deal with.
I’ve spent a lot of my 39th year dreading this upcoming birthday. It loomed before me looking much scarier then I’m sure I will find it to be. While I won’t hit ‘crisis’ status I am aware of how it could be possible. At this moment, I’m not surprised at how many story and movie plots, as well as real life drama, has come from this mid-life birthday!
Facing a ‘middle aged’ identity has me wanting to stomp my foot, throw a tantrum, pout and really, really rebel! It just doesn’t seem fair that it takes this many years to get to a point of being able to understand and appreciate what I was when I was younger. I fully comprehend and agree with the cliché of “youth being wasted on the young” now. I know it’s experience that teaches and experience only comes with time…but seriously couldn’t it have not taken so much time?
Over the last year, I’ve fussed and fumed and ranted and wrestled while reflecting on the first 40 years of my life. The struggle has been real and, while probably a bit melodramatic, I’m sure there are things common about the angst I’ve had which you can relate to. So, over the upcoming weeks I will be sharing a few of the biggest mental pits I’ve fallen into throughout the last year as I saw 40 coming and where I am now in the process of working through them. I hope I’ll be able to offer you encouragement and perhaps you’ll be able to offer insight as I mentally prepare for this upcoming milestone birthday!